I’ve been an online dating coach for a decade and during that time I have met a lot of people who have failed at online dating. The truth is that online dating is remarkably easy to fail at. It’s really just a database of random users and if your search words match up to their search words you might cross the paths. Being able to spot someone that you might be really compatible with and pursuing that is a lot harder than it seems. And that’s where coaches like me can help. We know people, and we know how to help you find the people that would be a good match for you. Here are a few of the most important things that you need to know in order to find love online:
Keep an Open Mind
I can’t tell you how many people end up passing by someone that could be perfect for them because of a bad photo or a missing comma in their profile. When you are sorting through matches you need to remember a few things. Not everyone gets professional photos taken for their online dating profile, although they should. Some people express themselves poorly in written words but are fantastic conversationalists. What you see on the screen isn’t always a good reflection of who that person is. So if you get matched with someone that may not be your ideal, or whose writing isn’t great, but you have books or movies or other interests in common message them and at least have a phone conversation to see if they might be a good match.
Meet as Soon as Possible
It’s important that you meet someone you might want to date in person as soon as possible. Partly that’s because you don’t want to waste time if there’s no chemistry between you. But you should also meet quickly because if you don’t you run the risk of creating an idea of who that person is in your mind based on your own fantasies and not on reality. When that happens you can be disappointed when you meet that person and that person doesn’t live up to your fantasies or your unreal expectations. So it’s best to meet as soon as you can to avoid the pitfalls of falling into a fantasy relationship.
Take A Break Now and Then
Finding love online is a process. And throughout that process, you will be growing and changing as a person. So every few months you should take a break from dating to figure out what you want and see if your relationship expectations have changed. By checking in with yourself to see what you want from a relationship and what you are bringing to a relationship you can increase your chances of finding the right relationship when you are ready to try online dating again. Don’t rush the process, and make sure that you’re clear about what you want in a relationship.